What We Tolerate Defines Us

An all-too-familiar story we hear when doing focus groups at schools is of administrators failing to confront problematic behavior on the part of faculty and staff. The dean of faculty looks the other way when a teacher habitually avoids covering for absent colleagues, or a head of school stops short of supporting the athletic director's desire to fire a coach who verbally berates student athletes. Addressing personnel problems like the teacher or coach is inherently tricky and likely to become conflictual, even litigious, so we know that leaders must carefully choose their battles. The problem is that leaders and their schools are defined by what they tolerate. Allowing some adults to misbehave telegraphs a signal to others that misbehavior is acceptable.

The problem is especially severe when leaders are promoted from within or when school communities are especially close and tight-knit as in boarding schools. Confronting misbehavior may mean facing one's friends or neighbors, which is never something most of us relish doing. Nonetheless, such is the burden of leadership that failure to confront equals tolerance, undermining one's authority. It is a significant reason school management is not for the faint of heart.