What Differentiates Happy and Unhappy Parents in Schools?

Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina famously begins: "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Our qualitative analysis of interview and focus group data from schools suggests something similar; that is, parents happy with the school share a small set of qualities in common while those unhappy are thus in myriad ways.

Happy parents are often those who have an evidentiary basis for comparing schools. Their child was somewhere else, and they switched to find something better (e.g., a better fit, more opportunities, a different schedule, whatever). Parents with no first-hand basis for comparison are often over-represented among those who are unhappy—one could say they are subject to the myth of the greener grass.

A second group of happy parents are those whose student is thriving at school. "Thriving" can be defined in terms of happiness, academics, sports, social life, or a combination of all factors. Regardless, it is hard for a parent to be displeased with a school where their student is objectively doing well.

Because our schools are choices for every family—no one must attend a private, independent school—leaders should begin with the assumption that people become anxious in such an environment (see our "Failed by the Syllogism" post) because it is because of a voluntary choice that they are there. Anxious parents are a challenge, even more so when they are also members of the governing board. A parent (board member or otherwise) must be deemed "at-risk"if (a) their student is struggling along any dimension, or (b) they lack a first-hand basis for comparison. An at-risk parent board member is someone very much requiring extra and very personal attention.