The Common Language that Divides Us

A quote sometimes attributed to both George Bernard Shaw and Oscar Wilde holds that the United States and the United Kingdom are "two countries divided by a common language." I was reminded recently that English (any language used in common, really) divides not only nations but people within them. We held "listening sessions" at a client school where we are doing a head of school search, with the purpose of hearing the ideas and preferences of stakeholders. Some parents and teachers showed up with a very difference interpretation of the listening part: they came expecting to listen to us rather than be listened to!The confusion in this innocuous-seeming episode was quickly resolved with laughter all around, but it underscores how wrong our assumptions of understanding can be. Leaders and others who need to be understand and to understand can be prone to fallaciously believe they do without checking first for shared meaning. Speaker and listener alike, beware!