Maybe They Aren't Crazy After All

This story by Laura Hamilton in the May 13, 2016, issue of The Atlantic makes an interesting point that is destined to be unpopular with school people: helicopter parents, the bane of every administrator's existence, may be more necessary than we previously thought. In the narrow context of publicly-funded universities in the United States, Hamilton builds and then backs up a case that there is a tacit collusion between schools and helicopter parents. In effect, schools replace services they no longer provided by assuming that the parents will fill in, taking care of medical, tutoring and more.Indeed, having parents who either don't or can't helicopter may be a risk factor for many students at the university level.

"... intensive parenting is, in many ways, a logical response to the harsh risks facing young people during college and early adulthood. Increasing income inequality, high rates of young-adult unemployment, and a decline in stable and well-paying entry-level jobs loom threateningly in the foreground. Declines in state and federal support for higher education, coupled with rising administrative costs in a complex regulatory environment, have led to skyrocketing tuition. Additionally, the sheer diversity of academic and social options, particularly at large public universities, makes it easy for college students to make costly mistakes. Involved parents provide insurance against risk."

I am reminded of psychiatrist Thomas Szasz's 1960's argument against the concept of mental illness; to wit, that what we call "abnormal behavior" is really just a normal adaptation to incredibly abnormal circumstances. Maybe helicopter parenting is just a perfectly reasonable adaptation of parents (those with capacity, who can) to the brutal and crazy demands of the postmodern world. Maybe. Maybe not.What helicopter parenting seems to be, at least to this psychologist, is a way some parents cope with the anxiety of uncertainty about their children's futures. One could argue that the anxiety itself be faced and surmounted without having it affect the kids. But, as Hamilton points out, many students may benefit from (and some actually need) the helicoptering. Maybe there is a "happy medium" about helicopter parenting, too.